I shouldn’t be here. Years ago, while training for a triathlon, I was hit by a car on my bike. Initially I was okay, it wasn’t until a few days after the trauma I developed an infection near my heart. I was in the hospital for nine days, with additional treatment and monitoring for a month after I was released. That was 16 years ago. I was in my 20s, and that could have been it. End of story. No running, no family, no future. Sometimes I think, what if I had never left that hospital? How would the lives of family members changed, for better or worse?
Consider the life you have lived until now as over, and, as a dead man, see what’s left as a bonus.
This is a powerful idea that you can use, to treat the life you’ve experienced until now as over. You are in the bonus level, additional time, and extra life like in a video game. How would you act differently with this mindset? You were never supposed to get to this point. It’s one of my favorite quotes:
“To win any battle, you must fight as if you are already dead.”
Not to be too morbid, but death is removed from society; it’s hidden, whereas it used to be a huge part of life. In past generations, death was an integral part of daily life. It occurred at home, and funerals were community events, allowing people to confront and discuss loss. Today, however, death often takes place in hospitals or care facilities, away from the public eye. Making death seem more abstract and distant.
Advances in medicine and healthcare have extended life expectancy, leading many to view death as something that happens in the distant future. This detachment can lead to a lack of appreciation for how short life is and the moments that make it meaningful. Its purpose is to shine light on what is important. That which is limited is desirable. We think of death as this far-off place, and that we all get to grow old. Growing old is a privilege.
There’s another quote I like about death:
“Death doesn’t need to be treated as an enemy to be able to delight in life…I encourage people to make peace with death, to see it as a culminating adventure of this adventure of life. It is not an error, it is not a failure. It is taking off a tight shoe that you’ve worn well.”
– Ram Dass
We wear different “shoes”, or personalities through life. I have chosen the role, of “Ultra Runner”. Death would be the end of that, no longer a charade to impress, or prove anything. There is no failure in death, or a DNF for that matter, and we should stop treating it as such. If you can conquer your fear of death, there’s a power, and a sense of freedom. You can laugh at the absurdity of what life or races throws at you. I think that’s what drives most health-conscious people; a fear of death. It is flipped for me. I try to cultivate more of a joy for life, and I wake each morning reminding myself of this quote:
“I greet every sunrise with cries of joy like a prisoner who is reprieved from death.”
This creates an intense appreciation for those in my life, what I have, and what I get to do. Every run is a gift, to see more vistas and sunrises while I am on the trail, feeling a sense of awe.
The more you make peace with death and the fear of it, the more it becomes a superpower. While I don’t have a death wish, I use it in running by having a conversation with myself constantly. This idea that I get to be a father, husband, coach. This creates a sense of gratitude for what I achieve. It shouldn’t take a near-death experience for you to do that. Those who brush up against it, who are around death constantly, are empowered by its sense of urgency. It emphasizes faster action, not wasting time.
I vividly remember the video series “Faces of Death” from high school.
I remember being warned how horrible it was, and the site 90’s website Rotten.com. It profiled a lot of the similar content like “Faces of Death”. Maybe death shouldn’t be hidden from children, or society? Locked away in a box that nobody talks about, except those who care for the elderly, or sick. Death should be in and around your life to maximize priorities and relationships. Don’t worry, I’m not about to start showing my kids faces of death, my oldest is 12 and not allowed to watch PG13 😁movies.
Unfortunately death is the one thing us ultra runners can’t outrun. “Memento mori”. I invite you to remember death the next time your feeling low, be it in a race, or in life. You are in the bonus round, you are not dead yet!
I do not fear death. I was dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.
Thanks for reading, if you enjoy this post you may also enjoy what I believe happens when a runner dies. Let me know your thoughts on death in the comments below!
I had also created a little AI trailer for this blog post for fun. Creepy, right?
Patrick is an ultrarunner and coach from Philadelphia who loves documenting his running career. His mission is to provide useful tips and tricks to assist others along their ultra journey. You can find his coaching services at https://ultraruncoach.com.
