Patrick Durante

I work from home full-time, and I have no social outings unless I create them. A few weeks ago, I attended two social events: a running group at Valley Forge and an open mic night. The open mic night stood out with its eclectic mix of people, all competing for a moment in the spotlight. While not everyone seeks this kind of attention, some personalities are naturally drawn to it, craving recognition for their unique traits. The event, held in a quirky, small restaurant reminiscent of the Star Wars Cantina bar scene, was an amusing experience, with diverse music and people from all walks of life.

“Not everything that can be counted counts. Not everything that counts can be counted”

It’s the “atta boy,” or “good job,” and “gold sticker” on our homework that shows someone enjoys our performance. Don’t get me wrong, many don’t seek this out, but at this open mic night, it was like the spotlight was on steroids. It’s addictive, I’m sure, like a kid’s talent show. Many paths, but all brought together with the same purpose to this one location, on this specific night, to share in this interaction.

My question is, where are you getting your spotlight, or do you need it? Some seek it in their work; some never get it. As a manager, I would rather shine the light on others versus myself. As I get older and see my kids grow, watching them race and compete in 5Ks, I realize it’s a phase we might go through, maybe fighting with siblings for it, or as we get older it’s a chance to step into the spotlight if we never had it. Racing does that; as you hit aid stations, age group awards, and different activities, you get that spotlight on you, and it’s a pleasurable ephemeral experience.

“To escape criticism: do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.”

One of the best examples I know of this type of behavior is at the finish line. All eyes are on you as you cross; you can feel that brief moment: “I DID SOMETHING TOUGH AND AMAZING!” Be it only a brief moment, your name gets written in the history books that nobody will read 🙂, but they don’t have to. It can be just for you to know at the end of your journey you did some hard things and had your time in the limelight, be it only a minute. I get to hold that happiness of achievement in my hands in the form of a medal, belt buckle, or sugary loaf of bread, which I received once at Rabid Raccoon.

I think we all need this feeling at some point in our life. Running, lifting, swimming, and sports provide that spotlight on positive action. It’s a percentage of the “reasons I run,” but it’s not all of it… I would say 5-10%. The rest I’ve written about relates to identity, mental health, role models, social interaction, and many others. Keep putting one foot in front of the other, in new places, and with new people. It can have a profound effect on your life.

Spotlights fade for everyone, and then we transition to core values that continue to drive us. We can’t and shouldn’t hog the spotlight forever; others deserve their time on stage too. This is coming from someone with a YouTube channel—I know, I know. I constantly reevaluate what’s important and what I want to achieve, and I’ve settled on three guiding principles: Growth, Compassion, and Kindness. These values are my “North Star” in life; they don’t fade, aren’t tied to physical ability, and should last a lifetime. It feels good to bask in the spotlight, but not for too long. Don’t worry, I’ll keep writing and filming my runs—it’s too much fun and a great way to look back on this wild ride when I need some motivation on a rainy day. Sometimes, if I don’t document them, it feels like these moments never even happened.

Thanks for reading. If you enjoyed this post, let me know in the comments below.

In a study of the major wars that shaped the course of history, the strategist and historian B.H. Liddell Hart found that only 2% of battles were won due to a direct attack. The majority of successful armies throughout history, Hart writes, all had the “power of endurance to last.” As Ford put it, “You just have to find a way to stick it out, to prevail.” “Lengthen your timeline…It always takes longer than you think it’s going to take. That’s Hofstadter’s law. And even when you take the law into account, you’re still surprised.”
Ryan Holiday

Ultrarunning is about consistency, not a single big event like a 100 or 200-mile distance. If you find an ultrarunner, they are usually consistent—in what they do, what they say, and how they act. They know the battle is won over the long term by showing up daily, enduring sickness, injury, and weathering unexpected storms. It’s not one single race or event that earns you the label of “ultrarunner”; it’s more a mindset and a series of daily habits. The idea is that you have to keep showing up and putting in the work to achieve long-term goals.

The war of attrition — This was the best image I could get for an ultrarunner in “The War of Attrition”

Long timelines are what life is about. There’s no quick fix, shortcut, or substitute for hard work. Those who earn something quickly often suffer from imposter syndrome and struggle to maintain their rapidly achieved fame or success.

‘Most people overestimate what they can accomplish in a year and underestimate what they can accomplish in a lifetime’

When you stretch out the timeline, your odds of winning the war greatly increase. How about 2 or 3 years? You need to be realistic, but that’s not to say you can’t set a huge goal.

You are constantly engaged in micro-battles for your time, as I detailed in this post about the attention economy. Every day, you will face small tasks that take less than 2 minutes but are essential to becoming a better version of yourself. Go to war with yourself and WIN in the long run by overcoming the naysayers and the negative voices in your head. These small victories will help you succeed in your ongoing war of attrition against your own doubts and obstacles.

One caveat to this is that consequences create meaning. It’s not to say you should go on forever in your war of attrition, but something has to be at stake. That’s where signing up for a race puts you in the battle with the “100 miler monster.” You will take action in life when there’s a high penalty; otherwise, you will be lazy and unmotivated in your war of attrition.

Races are when the war comes to your doorstep—that one-on-one fight with the current version of yourself and the challenge in front of you. They provide the ultimate penalty, especially the ones where you could DNF (Did Not Finish). No training = no completion = no finish = no reward. Even if you do DNF, you will learn from the attempt. Racing keeps you honest.

“Shoot for the moon. Even if you miss, you’ll land among the stars.”

Consequences create meaning and urgency. Your time is limited, but it’s often hard to see that, like the frog in the boiling pot of water. If you don’t recognize when things are taking too long or when time is running out, you risk never achieving your goals. Don’t let time waste away on trivial things—manage your focus.

Your health is your most critical currency, and many waste it away. Be aware of the ticking clock and the importance of each moment. Get out there before it’s too late and keep fighting, keep doing meaningful things, until you’re fully cooked and the war is over.

Author: Patrick Durante

The Spotlight in Ultrarunning

Winning Through Attrition