Ultrarunning

I shouldn’t be here. Years ago, while training for a triathlon, I was hit by a car on my bike. Initially I was okay, it wasn’t until a few days after the trauma I developed an infection near my heart. I was in the hospital for nine days, with additional treatment and monitoring for a month after I was released. That was 16 years ago. I was in my 20s, and that could have been it. End of story. No running, no family, no future. Sometimes I think, what if I had never left that hospital? How would the lives of family members changed, for better or worse?

Consider the life you have lived until now as over, and, as a dead man, see what’s left as a bonus.

This is a powerful idea that you can use, to treat the life you’ve experienced until now as over. You are in the bonus level, additional time, and extra life like in a video game. How would you act differently with this mindset? You were never supposed to get to this point. It’s one of my favorite quotes:

“To win any battle, you must fight as if you are already dead.”

Not to be too morbid, but death is removed from society; it’s hidden, whereas it used to be a huge part of life. In past generations, death was an integral part of daily life. It occurred at home, and funerals were community events, allowing people to confront and discuss loss. Today, however, death often takes place in hospitals or care facilities, away from the public eye. Making death seem more abstract and distant.

Advances in medicine and healthcare have extended life expectancy, leading many to view death as something that happens in the distant future. This detachment can lead to a lack of appreciation for how short life is and the moments that make it meaningful. Its purpose is to shine light on what is important. That which is limited is desirable. We think of death as this far-off place, and that we all get to grow old. Growing old is a privilege.

There’s another quote I like about death:

“Death doesn’t need to be treated as an enemy to be able to delight in life…I encourage people to make peace with death, to see it as a culminating adventure of this adventure of life. It is not an error, it is not a failure. It is taking off a tight shoe that you’ve worn well.”

– Ram Dass

We wear different “shoes”, or personalities through life. I have chosen the role, of “Ultra Runner”. Death would be the end of that, no longer a charade to impress, or prove anything. There is no failure in death, or a DNF for that matter, and we should stop treating it as such. If you can conquer your fear of death, there’s a power, and a sense of freedom. You can laugh at the absurdity of what life or races throws at you. I think that’s what drives most health-conscious people; a fear of death. It is flipped for me. I try to cultivate more of a joy for life, and I wake each morning reminding myself of this quote:

“I greet every sunrise with cries of joy like a prisoner who is reprieved from death.”

This creates an intense appreciation for those in my life, what I have, and what I get to do. Every run is a gift, to see more vistas and sunrises while I am on the trail, feeling a sense of awe.

The more you make peace with death and the fear of it, the more it becomes a superpower. While I don’t have a death wish, I use it in running by having a conversation with myself constantly. This idea that I get to be a father, husband, coach. This creates a sense of gratitude for what I achieve. It shouldn’t take a near-death experience for you to do that. Those who brush up against it, who are around death constantly, are empowered by its sense of urgency. It emphasizes faster action, not wasting time.

I vividly remember the video series “Faces of Death” from high school.

I remember being warned how horrible it was, and the site 90’s website Rotten.com. It profiled a lot of the similar content like “Faces of Death”. Maybe death shouldn’t be hidden from children, or society? Locked away in a box that nobody talks about, except those who care for the elderly, or sick. Death should be in and around your life to maximize priorities and relationships. Don’t worry, I’m not about to start showing my kids faces of death, my oldest is 12 and not allowed to watch PG13 😁movies.

Unfortunately death is the one thing us ultra runners can’t outrun. “Memento mori”. I invite you to remember death the next time your feeling low, be it in a race, or in life. You are in the bonus round, you are not dead yet!

I do not fear death. I was dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.

Thanks for reading, if you enjoy this post you may also enjoy what I believe happens when a runner dies. Let me know your thoughts on death in the comments below!

I had also created a little AI trailer for this blog post for fun. Creepy, right?

Patrick Durante

Patrick is an ultrarunner and coach from Philadelphia who loves documenting his running career. His mission is to provide useful tips and tricks to assist others along their ultra journey. You can find his coaching services at https://ultraruncoach.com.

bouncingsoles.com/about-patrick-durante/

What keeps a running career going? There are two key elements: motivation and validation. Successful runners will have both. There’s showing up, but getting recognized for your performance is key. How do you motivate yourself? Is it internal or external? Initially, your motivation comes from external sources. Maybe you want to lose weight or improve your appearance. But what keeps you lacing up your shoes once you reach your goal?

Racing provides both external motivation and validation. Races pressure you to perform at a high level, a commitment to train for an event. They provide a sense of validation when you perform well, and hit PRs for new distances or times. External validation like social media is a double-edged sword. While it can be inspiring, did you ever ask yourself, how much would I train if nobody was watching?

I eat a decent amount of candy in ultras

I started running in my 20s in college. There was a lot of external validation. I was comparing myself to others with how I placed in races. It was outward-facing, and not as internal. You see this in youth sports. They give participation awards or candy for showing up, it’s immediate feedback. My daughter would get a lollipop after soccer or swim practice. It’s external; I can’t expect internal motivation at the age of 5. Adults are the same way, some run just to eat donuts and not feel guilty.

The rewards from running take time to cultivate before a sense of internal accomplishment exists. External rewards come easily and are plentiful, but not very nutrient-dense like a donut. If you continue to rely on them, they put your motivation in the control of others. The worst aspect of using social media for validation is you are now dependent on who sees your post. There’s no end to how much external validation you will consume. Like empty calories of the donuts “likes”, “kudos”, or “views” will never give you a sense of contentment. Why don’t my runs get validation? It’s out of your control. Running starts with external validation but shifts to an internal sense of reward. This is not an easy task. The dopamine from external validation feels good, but it’s a trap. You will always crave more.

I want a lollipop a the finish of my next ultra

Ultras provide external motivators similar to the lollipop. You get a belt buckle or finisher medal. The trap is when that’s the only reason you race. Another checkbox to fill, another notch on my belt. It’s one of the traps of racing, where you only fixate on the reward vs the journey. Focused on the finish vs that next aid station. When pain is great, “finish fixation” is all you think about. When is my suffering going to end? Too distracted with the lollipop vs. enjoying the privilege to race. The trick is to bring it back to the present, back to the task at hand.

Where do you put your confidence? In what you do, or telling others what you do? Put it on yourself. Learn to feel the confidence in performing the act in and of itself. It’s not about social media. Keep it for yourself. If that’s what you need to get you out the door, there is nothing wrong with that. Just don’t let that take precedence over the internal. The external is the lollipop; the internal pulls you forward at mile 75 when everything hurts, and you want to drop out of the race.

The ultimate mental endurance event would be to register and complete a 100-mile race and tell nobody! Similar to a tree falling in the forest, if a runner runs in the woods, does it happen if he doesn’t post it on Strava? 🤣 Would you still run if nobody knew? If nobody was at the finish line? Would you do these events if you removed the social media aspect? Some say yes, others say no. Again, showing others you can do hard things is not bad. You never know who you are inspiring. Parenting involves setting an example for your children who are ALWAYS watching and listening. Are “followers” or “subscribers” then your children? 😁😁

Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.

Find that internal inspiration. Do something you have never done before. It doesn’t matter what others think, don’t worry about how it looks to others. Take two weeks of not posting any run on social media, or even taking your watch on a run. Leave the metrics at home and run by feel, run with no attachments, no expectations. Sadness is caused when reality doesn’t align with our expectations.

To develop your skills and talents in life you need motivation and validation. If it’s to post on social media, then keep doing it. Motivation is motivation, no matter what form it comes in, but self-motivation burns brighter than the external motivation of how others perceive you. It’s OK to have both, but don’t let one take precedence over the other. You don’t need validation for anything you do, because everyone is their own worst critic. Run as a form of service to yourself. Do it for the memories, the adventure, and the friendships. Don’t do it for the likes. Do it as an act of kindness to your future self, because you’re the only one who benefits. This is about a love of self, vs love of how you are seen. Nobody is thinking about you, nobody cares!

Final thought: It’s almost like humans were wired with a need for validation in our actions. Is it a feature or a bug? What do you think? Let me know in the comments below.

I say the worst things about myself… Fueled by self-hatred 🤣🤣

The devil looks like he’s a distance runner… 😱😱

Tag: Ultrarunning

Ultra Death

Ultra Motivation in Running

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