Ultra marathon

I was thinking about my beating heart. Weird, I know, right? If you’re in a quiet setting, you can feel it, and it gave me this idea: there are many bodily functions over which we have no control. Heart rate, hair growth (bald guy here wishes he could ?), kidney function, etc. The body takes control and manages everything on autopilot. Then there are the things under our control: what food we put in our mouths, what we consume with our eyes and ears, and where our feet take us. That’s how life works—some things are in your control, and the rest are not.

You control what races you sign up for and what you do in training. There’s a large amount of control there. But what if the body could decide where you spend your time, what food you could eat, or what workouts to do? It can’t, but it does send signals. Low energy, limited range of motion, inability to touch your toes, overly tight or sore muscles, or chronic injuries are signal flares. Could you imagine if your body took over and started doing stretches and mobility work because it knew?!? “Hey, your quads or hamstrings are way too tight! I’ll fix this,” similar to the immune system. That idea was making me laugh for some reason…

In racing, you can’t control who shows up. It’s the old trope: control the controllable. I was also thinking about the term “control freaks”, the term I used to generate some nice AI art. Those who try to control everything make for bad parents, bosses, spouses, etc. Control freaks want to see things done how they want versus what’s best for the situation. Not that you shouldn’t try to influence your life in some way, but realize that in parts of it, you only have control over your emotions, and that’s it.

There is a part to “being prepared,” but there is also a part to letting go and trusting in the training, mixed with situational awareness. You can stack the deck in your favor. Bad weather, wet shoes, missed aid stations, or whatever—you can control how you feel. That is what you have control over, not letting your emotions or imagination run wild because it’s never as bad as you think. That’s normally what results in a DNF, where your expectation of what you thought didn’t align with your pace or place.

You get dealt cards in life and must play the hand given. Some get dealt a pair of aces, while you get a pair of 2s or 3s. “You get what you get and you don’t get upset” is what I tell my children. Life isn’t fair, but it favors those who don’t give in and are mindful vs mindless. Those who keep finding a way to survive, and those who keep pushing forward when they think they are out of options. If you have a beating heart and can stand on your two feet, keep moving. Control is an illusion, like a magic trick our minds play on us. You have no control, just control over how you feel. That’s why they say to know yourself, how you react, what sets you off—be aware of it so you can control THAT, not the situation. Make the best of it, smile, laugh, and bust your ass every day. Your heart keeps beating without your control, hoping you put the right things in your mouth, get enough sleep, and move throughout the day.

My question is, if the body could control itself, what would it stop you from doing? You have to pull yourself out of bad situations, almost thinking, “My body would prefer I not do this to myself.” Mood follows action, and more times than not, once I start doing what needs to be done, the mind gets on board. Like the heart beating on its own with no intervention, what if the body decided to go for a run, but you didn’t want to? Your hands shot out, grabbed a pair of running shoes, and started lacing them up! You kept saying no, but the body didn’t listen. All of a sudden, you’re out the door and running. That’s almost what I need with fitness and health. Like giving the keys to let someone else drive. Would your body keep doing what you currently do daily? Sitting all day, hunched over a screen, doomscrolling Facebook or Instagram, or reading my blog ?? I don’t think so, well maybe the blog part… It’s a decent blog…? I leave you with the lyrics to one of my favorite punk songs along this same topic below. Enjoy!

Bad Religion – No Control (One of my favorite punk songs)

Culture was the seed of proliferation, but it’s gotten melded
Into an inharmonic whole to an inharmonic whole
Consciousness has plagued us and we cannot shake it
Though we think we’re in control
Though we think we’re in control

Questions that besiege us in life are testament of our helplessness

There’s no vestige of a beginning, no prospect of an end
When we all disintegrate, it will all happen again, yeah

Time is so rock solid in the minds of the hordes
But they can’t explain why it should slip away
Explain why it should slip away
History and future are the comforts of our curiosity
But here we are rooted in the present day
Rooted in the present day

Questions that besiege us in life are testament of our helplessness

There’s no vestige of beginning, no prospect of an end
When we all disintegrate, it will all happen again, yeah
If you came to conquer, you’ll be king for a day
But you too will deteriorate and quickly fade away

And believe these words you hear when you think your path is clear
We have no control
We have no control
We have no control
We do not understand, you have no control
You are not in command

You have no control
We have no control
No control, no control
You have no control

Thanks for reading!

I work from home full-time, and I have no social outings unless I create them. A few weeks ago, I attended two social events: a running group at Valley Forge and an open mic night. The open mic night stood out with its eclectic mix of people, all competing for a moment in the spotlight. While not everyone seeks this kind of attention, some personalities are naturally drawn to it, craving recognition for their unique traits. The event, held in a quirky, small restaurant reminiscent of the Star Wars Cantina bar scene, was an amusing experience, with diverse music and people from all walks of life.

“Not everything that can be counted counts. Not everything that counts can be counted”

It’s the “atta boy,” or “good job,” and “gold sticker” on our homework that shows someone enjoys our performance. Don’t get me wrong, many don’t seek this out, but at this open mic night, it was like the spotlight was on steroids. It’s addictive, I’m sure, like a kid’s talent show. Many paths, but all brought together with the same purpose to this one location, on this specific night, to share in this interaction.

My question is, where are you getting your spotlight, or do you need it? Some seek it in their work; some never get it. As a manager, I would rather shine the light on others versus myself. As I get older and see my kids grow, watching them race and compete in 5Ks, I realize it’s a phase we might go through, maybe fighting with siblings for it, or as we get older it’s a chance to step into the spotlight if we never had it. Racing does that; as you hit aid stations, age group awards, and different activities, you get that spotlight on you, and it’s a pleasurable ephemeral experience.

“To escape criticism: do nothing, say nothing, be nothing.”

One of the best examples I know of this type of behavior is at the finish line. All eyes are on you as you cross; you can feel that brief moment: “I DID SOMETHING TOUGH AND AMAZING!” Be it only a brief moment, your name gets written in the history books that nobody will read ?, but they don’t have to. It can be just for you to know at the end of your journey you did some hard things and had your time in the limelight, be it only a minute. I get to hold that happiness of achievement in my hands in the form of a medal, belt buckle, or sugary loaf of bread, which I received once at Rabid Raccoon.

I think we all need this feeling at some point in our life. Running, lifting, swimming, and sports provide that spotlight on positive action. It’s a percentage of the “reasons I run,” but it’s not all of it… I would say 5-10%. The rest I’ve written about relates to identity, mental health, role models, social interaction, and many others. Keep putting one foot in front of the other, in new places, and with new people. It can have a profound effect on your life.

Spotlights fade for everyone, and then we transition to core values that continue to drive us. We can’t and shouldn’t hog the spotlight forever; others deserve their time on stage too. This is coming from someone with a YouTube channel—I know, I know. I constantly reevaluate what’s important and what I want to achieve, and I’ve settled on three guiding principles: Growth, Compassion, and Kindness. These values are my “North Star” in life; they don’t fade, aren’t tied to physical ability, and should last a lifetime. It feels good to bask in the spotlight, but not for too long. Don’t worry, I’ll keep writing and filming my runs—it’s too much fun and a great way to look back on this wild ride when I need some motivation on a rainy day. Sometimes, if I don’t document them, it feels like these moments never even happened.

Thanks for reading. If you enjoyed this post, let me know in the comments below.

Tag: Ultra marathon

No Control in Ultrarunning

The Spotlight in Ultrarunning