DFL? Dead freaking last? How, what, why? Maybe coach needs a coach! Nobody is immune from a bad race. How did I get here? We need to rewind a bit and go over a series of events that put me in this position. In this race report, I am going to recap a series of events that led me to being in this position. Where did things go off the rails, what fatal mistakes did I make? Before I get into the virtual race, I want to recap the months and lack of what would have made this more successful. This wasn’t my A race of the season; I was more concerned about a last man standing event and pacing my friend at Western States. Eastern States was thrown in as a way to grab my qualifier for WSER. I should not have just “thrown in” Eastern States 100. It’s not a decision you should take on lightly to do one of PA’s hardest 100-milers. While I was doing some vert runs, three different trips disrupted my ability to put in quality training and caused me to miss critical training blocks. It’s one of the reasons I ask people about personal plans as a coach leading up to a race. Vacations and trips can and will disrupt critical training blocks.

Another mistake I made was the decision to place my shoe change after the stream crossing. I opted instead for just a sock change at Hyner. This was a mistake. I knew from prior races that I tend to need a full DRY shoe change around mile 30. This is different for each runner, depending on how their biomechanics work, how much they sweat, etc. I made the call to push my shoe and clothing change to after Tomb Flats. While the clothing change with the poncho worked, the plan backfired for my feet. This is all clear in hindsight, but I wouldn’t make that mistake again on a rocky and technical course. It’s the high amount of friction in wet shoes that did me in and slowed me to a crawl. The amount of pain I had from blisters was just too great. I normally put dry socks in my pack at race start, and I forgot to pack them. That was lesson number one.

There were some things that went right. This was the LONGEST I have ever run, at nearly 36 hours. One thing that did work well in this race versus others was using caffeine only in pills to make sure it was delivered exactly in the dose that I wanted, rather than in Tailwind or some other form. I did have a few cups of Coke, but in the past I have used coffee at aid stations. This kept me alert and awake over the night, whereas the first time I ran this race I was sleepy.

My mental game was on point, but in a split-personality type of way. I was reading the book “Do Hard Things” and this section stood out.

Before leaving the room, the researchers gave each child some coaching on how to persevere. They told one-third of the kids that they should think about their thoughts and feelings and ask, “Am I working hard?” The second third were given the same instructions but instead of saying “I,” they were told to use their name, such as, “Jill is working hard!” And the final group was told to refer to themselves as someone else they looked up to, for example, “Is Batman working hard?” With the instructions clear, the kids were left alone for ten minutes to work, distract, or do whatever they pleased. The six-year-olds who thought in first person, using “I” to reflect on their work, stayed on task only about 35 percent of the time, choosing the iPad for the majority of their ten minutes. The kids who referred to themselves by their name fared a little better, spending around 45 percent of their time on task. But it was the final group, which focused on Bob the Builder, Batman, or Dora the Explorer as the example of someone who worked hard, who stayed on task nearly 60 percent of the time. The more the child was distanced from his inner self, the longer he or she persisted.

“It’s easier to give advice to a friend than to yourself” is an adage that most of us have heard, and it largely holds. Should we quit a job or end a relationship? We’re often too close to the issue to have any sort of objectivity. We wrestle over the decision, with our inner voice offering a mix of justifications and rationalizations. Yet, if we see the same situation with a friend or acquaintance, the answer comes nearly instantly. We tell our friend that she needs to drop that guy without hesitation. This phenomenon doesn’t just hold true with giving advice, but also in helping us persist and navigate internal discomfort. It can be easily influenced simply by changing our grammar.

The six-year-old children were creating what’s called psychological distance. When we use first-person pronouns as part of our inner dialogue, the bond between ourselves and the situation is too tight. When we use third-person pronouns, our first name, or examples of others, it creates space between our sense of self and the situation. We transform into that friend giving advice, not blinded by our connection to the issue. According to work done by researchers from the University of Michigan, first-person pronouns tend to create a self-immersed world, while using words and phrases that create space produces a self-distanced perspective.

So how did I use this? Instead of saying, “You can do this,” or “Come on Patrick,” I replaced it with this image of the coach. Coach wouldn’t fail; coach would not DNF. “I” gave up multiple times, but coach didn’t. I kept referring to myself almost in the third person in this form, like a coach would not fail. A coach is a role model to others and my children, and as I kept talking to myself in the third person, in this image of what I saw as a coach, that is what I think was the defining thing that kept pushing me forward. It was this idea that I’m something greater, that is inspiring, versus just looking at myself as just another runner. I was trying to transcend the “self” and be more of a role model. I was this unstoppable coach, that yes, made a mistake, but he wasn’t going to give up.

At one aid station I asked if they had anything to pop blisters; they wouldn’t give me anything, but they did have a spray bottle filled with alcohol to dry off my feet. That was another way I had done damage control when I couldn’t replace my shoes. It’s actually something I need to remember for the future—a small spray bottle filled with rubbing alcohol felt amazing for wet, soaked feet.

Your crew is more important than you think, even if they are just waiting for you at the end. One of the things that was different for this race versus the nine before it was that my father was not there. This was also a test to see if I could race fully in the solo/no crew division. I did miss him; it did play a factor. When you know someone is waiting for you at the end, anyone is waiting, you find a reason to dig deep. I didn’t have that this race, and it showed. While my dad is older and can’t make it to all aid stations, the moral support that he provides is critical to success. Having a father who’s willing to bring you to all these races and wait for you and help you achieve your dreams pushes you forward in these events. He’s not the only one supporting me; there are many people also at home making this trip a reality. I had to start powering my mind with all the people NOT there that were helping, as well as the actual race volunteers. They were so helpful—you can see in the video the difference they made in my finishing.

An additional item that was a hit in this race was setting up the car as a sleeper after the event. I learned that if you let the car idle with the AC on and sleep in the back, it uses about 4 gallons of gas an hour. I slept very well after I finished, in the back of the car with the AC on. When my feet went south and I was on my way back for the final stretch, it felt great to dunk my feet in any small stream I could find.

In the end, a finish is a finish at Eastern States 100. Initially I didn’t know how to process this DFL, I almost was embarrassed by it. That quickly changed and I was proud of it. To grit it out for 36 hours and be last was an honor. I am glad I recorded the entire thing as well, because I think the video came out well. It shows my struggle, and it shows we are all human, and nobody is immune to having a bad day. It seems like life likes to throw you the lessons you need to learn the most. I am STILL learning to take on these races, but the thing is I don’t give up. I keep improving, and I keep trying, because that’s just what “coach” would do.

Thanks for reading!

Patrick Durante

Patrick is an ultrarunner and coach from Philadelphia who loves documenting his running career. His mission is to provide useful tips and tricks to assist others along their ultra journey. You can find his coaching services at https://ultraruncoach.com.

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Where do you draw the line? When does hard become too hard? That’s what I wanted to learn. Could I manage my pain, pace, and mental demons in a Last Person Standing event. A format that’s a 4.1 mile course, every hour on the hour until nobody’s left. Here’s my recap on what went right, wrong, and how I would do things differently next year.

What went right?

There was something very different about the vibe of this race. Where typically I will spend 10-15 hours alone in the woods in the later stages of an ultra, you start with the group every hour. That made for more conversations, more friends to be made, and more smiles and miles to be shared.

There’s 3 things I found that kept me running well into the night. Real food, foot care, and mental daemon control. Real food was one of the key things most people mentioned, but why? You can’t stop eating, because once you do you can’t maintain intensity, and this will get intense. I tell my athletes, when intensity goes up, nutrition goes up. While real food did work, I also supplemented it with gels to hit carb targets, a strategy new to this year. The issue I found is most people under eat in racing. That’s where isotonic gels come in, you just force it down and it’s done.

Some of the real food items I ate were cookies, bagels, overnight oats, ramen, sushi(California roll, I wouldn’t risk anything else). Ramen was provided by the nice people working the aid station/start. They also made pancakes and smores, but sadly I missed them.

My “Real” food that I ate during the race

Gear purchased specifically for this race included: cooler, tent, and a reclining chair. I had a cheap dinky cooler that was 20 years old. I invested in this Ninja that could keep ice for over 48 hours, if not longer. It kept things cool, and had a refrigerated compartment for things you didn’t want to freeze. It worked very well.

Home made gels, overnight oats, and star bucks drinks FTW

The ability to have cold ice and food at your feet was a game changer, and needed for most looped events. I also brought out the Starbucks cappuccinos and BOY did they go down fast. I dipped my hat in here every loop when temps started to rise.

Foot care

Thee first loop my shoes got soaked, and I knew this was going to be an issue. On the 3rd loop I switched shoes, and rubbed zinc oxide all over my feet. I learned about this method technique from running 2 wet 100 milers in PA. Foot care gets you far. If every step is painful you are in for a bad day. Keep your feet happy and dry. The people that power through puddles and never need a shoe change, god bless you, but that’s just not me. I will use drop bags for spare shoes, 2Toms blister shield, or kill a man to get a dry pair of socks. This is my longest distance with no shoe change, 50 miles, because my feet felt amazing! (Weather conditions and humidity can affect this greatly. Plan accordingly!) Another purchase was an anti gravity chair when they went on sale around Christmas. It helped reduce swelling between rounds.

Elevating for feet for the race felt o so gooood

The final item you will need is a pop up tent. Why? Because if you are out there for that long you want a chance to be outs of the elements. Unless you have a tent or something else to keep you out of the rain. Be prepared for all the elements when you are out. I’ve learned that weather can change suddenly, and having different clothes is critical. I changed my shirt multiple times, and I almost wish I could have changed my pants as I did get some chafing. Maybe next year I’ll invest in one of those pop-up changing tents… We saw both intense sun and rain on race day.

I kept massaging my legs between loops while I had time. Yet another way I tried to save my legs. See it here on amazon. Its been one of the best devices for self care.

I did this multiple times, in conjunction with leg elevation. I didn’t have any soreness or tightness that’s typical for this distance or amount of climbing. This went out the window when I only had a minute or two between loops, but I was sitting very close to the corral massaging my legs very late in the yards.

Mental daemons

To slay my mental daemons I saved music until night. I socialized, talked with people. Filmed the course, and kept my mind busy. As they saying goes, idle hands are the devil’s playground. The same goes for an idle mind. Keep it busy with the course, music, or talking with people. No negative chatter or complaining to other runners, that’s a recipe for a fast DNF!

What went wrong?

24 hour crew

My dad offered “crewish” support, as he referred to it. I am self-sufficient in these events. I know my dad’s limits, and what he can do at night. He’s 73 so, I cut him some slack, and this is a hard ask to crew you for 24 hours. My wife is managing the 3 kids back home, so she is not an option. My father did fulfil a dinner request. God bless his heart.

Dinner was a 2 cheese burger meal. It was AMAZING! Thanks Dad!

He assisted on the first few rounds, and helped me break down all supplies when the race over. What went WRONG here was me being humble enough to accept aid by strangers. Multiple people asked if I needed help, and I declined. This is not a fault of pride, or ego, but I didn’t even know how I would direct them. My mind was fried, and it didn’t even know what it wanted,. Trying to convey that to someone to assist me seemed like more work. The coaches who put on the race made me 3 cups of ramen and they were delicious. I had my aid ready, and I just couldn’t think clearly what I wanted between rounds. You know that quote about having a plan until getting punched in the face? Well things started to hurt and I stopped thinking clearly about what I needed. I should have rehearsed my breaks better or planned what I would take in the later yards. I also shouldn’t have put my tent so far away from other runners. It might have been a bad idea to be secluded.

Focus on breathe – You are either in rest and digest or fight or flight. I noticed that late in the race my breathing was getting short and choppy. It was around the same time that I had issues keeping pace. I noticed it only too late and then made an active effort to focus on breathing. I was using a 2-1 ration, 2 inhales, then 1 long extended exhale. When we exhale slightly longer than we inhale it has a multitude of effects, besides calming me down, it triggers your parasympathetic nervous system. That’s the rest and digest, food can process, your mind can think, and you are no longer panicking. When I stopped focusing on my breathe I started to get anxious. It was the beginning of a decline in mental and physical state and it all started with my breathe. I realized this far too late, and the damage was done. I was slowing down and aid station breaks were not going well. Panic set in. I regret not doing some type of loop rehearsal in training, with a plan for the later hours of the race.

Poop Loop

Ah the dreaded poop loop. Having raced for 20 hours I knew that it was coming.

It was the final blow to poor pacing and mounting race anxiety. I pushed the pace so hard on the pool loop that it caused too much stress “in the end” 😜. On the final loops, I was slow the first two miles, then blasting the last 2 miles. It wasn’t an even distribution of effort over the entirety of the course.

10 minute breaks in the beginning, down to 2-3 minutes near the end.

You can see from the graph here, I had some 10 minute breaks, then 8 then 5 then 3 etc. My aid station visits were a mix of well executed, and panicked hair on fire, and I don’t have any hair! I was unsure what food to take, and in the end I just kept grabbing gels and quit real food. I know this for next time, have a well thought out aid station visit. Similar to transitions in a triathlon, it should be rehearsed! Plan your food strategy! Have grab bags you take with you! I’ve used them in the past races but forgot to do them here.

What would I have done different

I would have practiced the 4.1 course elevation in my long run. So for a 4-6 hour run I could have taken a break for 5 minutes at my car with aid. My efforts in the beginning were not evenly spread . If I had to do it again, I would have found a 500ft hilly 4.1 mile out and back and kept repeating. Then practicing my 5 minute breaks. Elevating my legs, massaging them, eating food, etc. I didn’t have any specific training for this race. I ran a decent amount of vert, worked on mobility, and strength, and then gave it my best shot at a pace that felt comfortable. Mud is something that’s difficult to train. See “Rabid Raccoon 100” in the dictionary for a definition of mud. Having an LMS under my belt I have a better understanding of what pacing feels like.

The Dynamic Duo, Phil and David Perkins.

I went in with this irrational fear of getting eliminated on the first loop. If you stay with the group that’s impossible. Anxiety only built when I drop the ball on my aid station procedure. Part of me said, hey, I am an accomplished runner. The 2nd part of me said, you have never done this before. So I had a healthy dose of a realistic outcome. I landed at 85 and was happy with 4th place DNF. I also knew of 2 studs on the course who were capable of over 200 miles. I’m looking at you Phil! One more regret was not staying with the pack in the later miles. I think that could have extended my range. You assist each other in this race and its not as solo as you think.

The mental daemons in this race will break you. The warning whistles to return to the start line are a a constant stress. I would say that I wasn’t consistent with pacing and effort, I was running by RPE(relative perceived effort), but I shouldn’t have limited it more to an exact time. When night loops started I knew that things were going downhill. As time slips and you get closer to the cut off you realize you are not going to make it! You start thinking you are not good enough, you are not as strong as your competitors…Doubt crept in, and since I was alone I didn’t have anybody but myself to converse with. I said out loud “STFU” several times when negative thoughts kept playing on loop. Next year I will band together with a group, or have more conversations to make sure I stick with the pack.

Final Thoughts

You would think that Last Person Standing, and running in general, would be a solo activity. This event made me realize that the old adage is so true: “If you want to go fast, go alone; if you want to go far, go together.” The people who went further were talking to their neighbors, telling them what their goals were, and sharing the burden of their challenge. I saw Corey take the course distance record for females. I saw a son fighting with his father to hit his 100K goal and not give up. I saw people run their farthest distance to date and be grateful they went one more. For myself, I learned that effort has to be evenly distributed; it is finite. All things fade in time; there’s no person who won’t fatigue. That’s true in my personal life as well. Everyone has their limits of how much they are willing to take. People in your life fall under three categories: “Friends for a reason, friends for a season, and friends for a lifetime.” This event is a chance to face fears, see your breaking point, and make a lot more friends for a reason. I think the power would be in coming back in year two: to see familiar faces and push that bar just slightly higher. To know that the limits in your life are fictional—you created them, so you can break them.