Skip to content

Tag: trail run

Ultra Brain

Science has backed up what I have known about ultras:


Anterior midcingulate cortex (AMCC). Often referred to as the “willpower muscle,” its size and activity are driven by neurobiology rather than just a personality trait. The AMCC grows ONLY when you engage in tasks that are challenging. For instance, if someone loves cold water, an ice bath won’t change their AMCC, but if they hate the cold and force themselves to do it anyway, the area grows. This brain region is significantly larger in “super agers,” individuals who maintain high cognitive capacity and physical health well into their 80s and 90s. The AMCC shrinks or atrophies in individuals who live sedentary lives or consistently avoid challenges. The AMCC is the “seat of the will to live,” as its size and activity level are strong predictors of how well a person survives a major health setback or surgery. Doing “hard things,” such as pushing through difficult physical workouts or neural-activating drills, tells the brain it can overcome any obstacle, building a reserve for when life gets hard.

Failing to do hard things can lead to a breakdown of connectors and receptors in the brain, creating a cycle where the AMCC doesn’t grow, making it increasingly difficult to meet goals or resist sedentary behaviors. This discovery is critical because it moves the concept of willpower away from a moral failing and into the realm of trainable hardware in the brain.

This is something I have known for a while, but I love seeing that science now backs it up. After I completed my first difficult race I signed up for, it gave me a new perspective, the things I didn’t sign up for got easier. I used it as my measuring stick by which I determined if something was difficult. 5Ks became easy, similar to the 5lb weight that becomes easy to lift. That muscle became strong and able to lift greater and greater challenges. So I had to reach for the bigger goal, the bigger hurdle to overcome; the 5K became the 10K, the half marathon, and the rest is history. I used to think it was an addiction to running, but it’s more an addiction to growing these connections stronger to take on greater challenges. Seeking out these challenges year after year was a necessary part of growth.

Your hard looks different from mine, and that’s the beauty of this discovery. We all start off with a small, underdeveloped AMCC. With my kids, I can see how hard it is for them to take on new challenges, but we sign them up for sports. Sports force a hard on you that you don’t choose. You learn to win, lose, or play the game and be better than your previous version of you. There is a sense of danger. You may get hurt if you put yourself in the game, a real game, not a video game (as we are doing a lot now in the winter months). There has to be something that is on the line. You need to have the ability to get hurt, accountability to teammates, going off course in a race, just some type of failure. There needs to be that 50/50 chance of success, because you can’t trick your brain. It knows if nothing is at stake: “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

This is the best understanding of the “WHY” for ultras. People think you’re insane when you tell them you can’t wait to run 100 miles in the woods, trying to find your limit. That limit is where the AMCC grows, as someone who has been doing this a long time. I can go back in my mind and remember those past events and feel the pain of the big races. I can look back at them, see the medal or buckle on the shelf, and actually feel how much I grew from a single event, YEARS after it has passed. I remember how tired I was, how hard it was to gain those wins. I know the exact points in races where I had to dig deep and where those synapses in my brain fired to get me a finish. It wasn’t for the buckle, medal, or right to say I completed it. It was for the urge to drive the growth, to be better than my previous best, and that’s it. That’s what drives me year after year, and why I’m excited to plan my adventures every year. Where will they take me? How hard will I push? Will I get in all the training needed to complete the challenges? What type of person will I become when the year is done and I look back?

Find what you’re afraid of most and GO LIVE THERE. That quote is so true because that’s the part of your brain that is scared and needs the inoculation to fear. If you do, you grow, you get stronger, and that fear fades, leaving less places for fear to hide. If you need to convince your significant other to let you sign up for a 50K or 100K, you can forward them this post as to WHY. You become stronger IF you complete it, and even if you don’t, you still grow because you put yourself out there. You can promise them that IF you succeed, you will be stronger mentally AND physically, able to take more of the burden of any problem that gets thrown your way.

Ultra Death

I shouldn’t be here. Years ago, while training for a triathlon, I was hit by a car on my bike. Initially I was okay, it wasn’t until a few days after the trauma I developed an infection near my heart. I was in the hospital for nine days, with additional treatment and monitoring for a month after I was released. That was 16 years ago. I was in my 20s, and that could have been it. End of story. No running, no family, no future. Sometimes I think, what if I had never left that hospital? How would the lives of family members changed, for better or worse?

Trail runners are a scrawny bunch

Consider the life you have lived until now as over, and, as a dead man, see what’s left as a bonus.

This is a powerful idea that you can use, to treat the life you’ve experienced until now as over. You are in the bonus level, additional time, and extra life like in a video game. How would you act differently with this mindset? You were never supposed to get to this point. It’s one of my favorite quotes:

“To win any battle, you must fight as if you are already dead.”

Not to be too morbid, but death is removed from society; it’s hidden, whereas it used to be a huge part of life. In past generations, death was an integral part of daily life. It occurred at home, and funerals were community events, allowing people to confront and discuss loss. Today, however, death often takes place in hospitals or care facilities, away from the public eye. Making death seem more abstract and distant.

Classic line from Clerks

Advances in medicine and healthcare have extended life expectancy, leading many to view death as something that happens in the distant future. This detachment can lead to a lack of appreciation for how short life is and the moments that make it meaningful. Its purpose is to shine light on what is important. That which is limited is desirable. We think of death as this far-off place, and that we all get to grow old. Growing old is a privilege.

There’s another quote I like about death:

“Death doesn’t need to be treated as an enemy to be able to delight in life…I encourage people to make peace with death, to see it as a culminating adventure of this adventure of life. It is not an error, it is not a failure. It is taking off a tight shoe that you’ve worn well.”

– Ram Dass

We wear different “shoes”, or personalities through life. I have chosen the role, of “Ultra Runner”. Death would be the end of that, no longer a charade to impress, or prove anything. There is no failure in death, or a DNF for that matter, and we should stop treating it as such. If you can conquer your fear of death, there’s a power, and a sense of freedom. You can laugh at the absurdity of what life or races throws at you. I think that’s what drives most health-conscious people; a fear of death. It is flipped for me. I try to cultivate more of a joy for life, and I wake each morning reminding myself of this quote:

“I greet every sunrise with cries of joy like a prisoner who is reprieved from death.”

This creates an intense appreciation for those in my life, what I have, and what I get to do. Every run is a gift, to see more vistas and sunrises while I am on the trail, feeling a sense of awe.

Do you even lift bro?

The more you make peace with death and the fear of it, the more it becomes a superpower. While I don’t have a death wish, I use it in running by having a conversation with myself constantly. This idea that I get to be a father, husband, coach. This creates a sense of gratitude for what I achieve. It shouldn’t take a near-death experience for you to do that. Those who brush up against it, who are around death constantly, are empowered by its sense of urgency. It emphasizes faster action, not wasting time.

I vividly remember the video series “Faces of Death” from high school.

I remember being warned how horrible it was, and the site 90’s website Rotten.com. It profiled a lot of the similar content like “Faces of Death”. Maybe death shouldn’t be hidden from children, or society? Locked away in a box that nobody talks about, except those who care for the elderly, or sick. Death should be in and around your life to maximize priorities and relationships. Don’t worry, I’m not about to start showing my kids faces of death, my oldest is 12 and not allowed to watch PG13 😁movies.

Unfortunately death is the one thing us ultra runners can’t outrun. “Memento mori”. I invite you to remember death the next time your feeling low, be it in a race, or in life. You are in the bonus round, you are not dead yet!

I do not fear death. I was dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.

Thanks for reading, if you enjoy this post you may also enjoy what I believe happens when a runner dies. Let me know your thoughts on death in the comments below!

I had also created a little AI trailer for this blog post for fun. Creepy, right?

AI is fun! What will you create?