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Ultra Death

Ultra Death

Published by Patrick Durante on April 9, 2025

I shouldn’t be here. Years ago, while training for a triathlon, I was hit by a car on my bike. Initially I was okay, it wasn’t until a few days after the trauma I developed an infection near my heart. I was in the hospital for nine days, with additional treatment and monitoring for a month after I was released. That was 16 years ago. I was in my 20s, and that could have been it. End of story. No running, no family, no future. Sometimes I think, what if I had never left that hospital? How would the lives of family members changed, for better or worse?

Trail runners are a scrawny bunch

Consider the life you have lived until now as over, and, as a dead man, see what’s left as a bonus.

This is a powerful idea that you can use, to treat the life you’ve experienced until now as over. You are in the bonus level, additional time, and extra life like in a video game. How would you act differently with this mindset? You were never supposed to get to this point. It’s one of my favorite quotes:

“To win any battle, you must fight as if you are already dead.”

Not to be too morbid, but death is removed from society; it’s hidden, whereas it used to be a huge part of life. In past generations, death was an integral part of daily life. It occurred at home, and funerals were community events, allowing people to confront and discuss loss. Today, however, death often takes place in hospitals or care facilities, away from the public eye. Making death seem more abstract and distant.

Classic line from Clerks

Advances in medicine and healthcare have extended life expectancy, leading many to view death as something that happens in the distant future. This detachment can lead to a lack of appreciation for how short life is and the moments that make it meaningful. Its purpose is to shine light on what is important. That which is limited is desirable. We think of death as this far-off place, and that we all get to grow old. Growing old is a privilege.

There’s another quote I like about death:

“Death doesn’t need to be treated as an enemy to be able to delight in life…I encourage people to make peace with death, to see it as a culminating adventure of this adventure of life. It is not an error, it is not a failure. It is taking off a tight shoe that you’ve worn well.”

– Ram Dass

We wear different “shoes”, or personalities through life. I have chosen the role, of “Ultra Runner”. Death would be the end of that, no longer a charade to impress, or prove anything. There is no failure in death, or a DNF for that matter, and we should stop treating it as such. If you can conquer your fear of death, there’s a power, and a sense of freedom. You can laugh at the absurdity of what life or races throws at you. I think that’s what drives most health-conscious people; a fear of death. It is flipped for me. I try to cultivate more of a joy for life, and I wake each morning reminding myself of this quote:

“I greet every sunrise with cries of joy like a prisoner who is reprieved from death.”

This creates an intense appreciation for those in my life, what I have, and what I get to do. Every run is a gift, to see more vistas and sunrises while I am on the trail, feeling a sense of awe.

Do you even lift bro?

The more you make peace with death and the fear of it, the more it becomes a superpower. While I don’t have a death wish, I use it in running by having a conversation with myself constantly. This idea that I get to be a father, husband, coach. This creates a sense of gratitude for what I achieve. It shouldn’t take a near-death experience for you to do that. Those who brush up against it, who are around death constantly, are empowered by its sense of urgency. It emphasizes faster action, not wasting time.

I vividly remember the video series “Faces of Death” from high school.

Not to be viewed by the elderly ??
rotten.com

I remember being warned how horrible it was, and the site 90’s website Rotten.com. It profiled a lot of the similar content like “Faces of Death”. Maybe death shouldn’t be hidden from children, or society? Locked away in a box that nobody talks about, except those who care for the elderly, or sick. Death should be in and around your life to maximize priorities and relationships. Don’t worry, I’m not about to start showing my kids faces of death, my oldest is 12 and not allowed to watch PG13 😁movies.

Unfortunately death is the one thing us ultra runners can’t outrun. “Memento mori”. I invite you to remember death the next time your feeling low, be it in a race, or in life. You are in the bonus round, you are not dead yet!

I do not fear death. I was dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.

Thanks for reading, if you enjoy this post you may also enjoy what I believe happens when a runner dies. Let me know your thoughts on death in the comments below!

I had also created a little AI trailer for this blog post for fun. Creepy, right?

AI is fun! What will you create?
Ultra Cockroach

Ultra Cockroach

Published by Patrick Durante on March 7, 2025

The Cockroach Theory

At a restaurant, a cockroach suddenly flew from somewhere and sat on a lady. She started screaming out of fear. With a panic-stricken face and trembling voice, she started jumping, with both her hands desperately trying to get rid of the cockroach. Her reaction was contagious, as everyone in her group also got panicky. The lady finally managed to push the cockroach away but …it landed on another lady in the group.

Now, it was the turn of the other lady in the group to continue the drama. The waiter rushed forward to their rescue. In the relay of throwing, the cockroach next fell upon the waiter. The waiter stood firm, composed himself and observed the behavior of the cockroach on his shirt. When he was confident enough, he grabbed it with his fingers and threw it out of the restaurant. Sipping my coffee and watching the amusement, the antenna of my mind picked up a few thoughts and started wondering, was the cockroach responsible for their histrionic behavior?

If so, then why was the waiter not disturbed? He handled it near to perfection, without any chaos. It is not the cockroach, but the inability of those people to handle the disturbance caused by the cockroach, that disturbed the ladies. I realized that it is not the shouting of my father or my boss or my wife that disturbs me, but it’s my inability to handle the disturbances caused by their shouting that disturbs me.

It’s not the traffic jams on the road that disturbs me, but my inability to handle the disturbance caused by the traffic jam that disturbs me. More than the problem, it’s my reaction to the problem that creates chaos in my life. Lessons learnt from the story:

I understood I should not react in life.I should always respond. The women reacted, whereas the waiter responded. Reactions are always instinctive whereas responses are always well thought of. A beautiful way to understand LIFE.

The HAPPY person is not because Everything is RIGHT in his Life. He is HAPPY because his attitude towards everything in their life is right!

For some, the idea of running an ultra event is like this story. As soon as you tell them how far you like to run, they have a knee-jerk reaction. “OMG, I don’t like to even drive that far, do you sleep?” For those in the sport, the response is normally followed by several questions. Was it technical, how much vert, was it scenic, hard or easy, etc. They respond versus react because they have been there; they are open to the idea versus that initial shock. Why would you choose to do such a horrible activity? We control how we feel about almost everything we do, and it’s in using tools like curiosity and excitement that we remove that reaction and judgment. It creates a yearning for a deeper understanding.

Ultra Cockroach

The nature of many actions we perform have no purpose, but they bring joy to those involved. With the Eagles winning the Super Bowl, my kids are excited about football, and I have been having catches with my son. He tells me tales of Super Bowl games at recess and how much fun they have been having. Did you ever stop to think about the purpose of a catch? Why would one perform any action, like dancing, a football catch, or creative writing? The joy is in small moments as they happen, but when analyzed from an outside perspective, the activity makes no sense. Like those who can’t wrap their heads around running all day for fun, but people can wrap their heads around sitting all day binge-watching TV. Much like that person asking about the ultra. Why would I do that? I am completely comfortable in my chair on the sidelines.

There doesn’t need to be a purpose in everything we do, because why would we do anything? Why would someone put so much time and effort into a run? Why would someone dedicate so much time and effort to move their body? The answer lies in the response of those in the action. It’s those who are in the action that see the action for what it is: a connection to nature, friends, body, mind, and soul that eliminates suffering. Those who put themselves in the act are able to remain calm and cool, unaffected by the trauma of daily life. They respond versus react; they slow down their thought process, and they take in more of what’s happening. They are detached just 2-3 seconds from their own initial responses; that’s what running, and more importantly ultra running, does for myself. It creates a buffer where you think more before you act; you process things slower. You become less reactive and more responsive.

The Ultra Cockroach

Running creates a connection to the breath, to your lungs, to your arms. The mind becomes sharper, not reacting but responding to the demands of stress. When you stop running, that stress you were dealing with is less, and normal life moves at an almost snail’s pace. Mental or physical stress are the same to the body, and it can’t tell the difference. When you adapt to workout stress, you also adapt to mental stress. It creates a template on how to deal with high stress levels. Your perspective of time passes at almost 2x its speed while running, but once you stop, it’s as if your mind is still racing, but your body is not. This is what creates the buffer; it’s the decreased demand on the body, but heightened awareness of the mind.

“Runner’s High”—it’s the effect that exercise has on you the entire day after you work out. Most people exercise first thing in the morning because that high lasts the entire rest of the day. Your metabolism gets kick-started as well, your body primed to take on more load once given that first dose. This is a known phenomenon of running and exercise. It’s part of the supercompensation process that makes you stronger after a stress response, provided that you take some days off to rest and reap the benefits.

Ultra cockroach

We don’t stop moving because we get old… We get old because we stop moving…

Use exercise to jump-start your mind, body, and metabolism, creating a buffer against the stress the world is guaranteed to throw at you. This is a hard you choose versus a hard you don’t. When challenges arise that you don’t choose, your body is stronger, your mind sharper, and your responses are wiser because you have prepared yourself. You are inoculated against stress because you have encountered it before, and the cockroach of stress is squashed under the bouncing sole of your foot before it has a chance to affect you.