Patrick Durante

You wouldn’t think a quote would have much power to change your life, but they do. They can be a framework for how to think. I’ve collected these over the years and wanted to share. These quotes have profoundly impacted me, and you might have seen them in some of my posts. After each quote, I share how I interpret it and use it daily.

“Without noticing we’re doing it, we treat the future as intrinsically more valuable than the present. And yet the future never seems to arrive.”

Act NOW, do what you want NOW. There’s no point in waiting, as the “future” never comes.

“Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.”

Comparison is the thief of joy, right? Don’t compare your life to someone else; you have no idea what they had to do to get there. Racing is never a level playing field. If you win one day, it doesn’t mean you’re better; maybe you just have fewer obligations than your competitor.

It’s not the weight of the load that breaks you down, it’s how you carry it.

It’s your thoughts about the situation that cause the most damage, in racing and in life. Those who remain happy in a race tend to do better. Smile more in racing you’ll have better outcomes.

“Care about what other people think and you will always be their prisoner.”

I do my dance, and if you profit, so be it. I don’t care what others say or think about my actions. I put myself out there. I create videos and write blog posts, because I enjoy having a voice, and who knows, maybe I’ve inspired someone.

“Never look up to anyone; never look down on anyone.” If you look up to someone, you will exaggerate their positive qualities; if you look down on someone, you will exaggerate their negative qualities. But if you simply look—not for something, but just look—you will see things just as they are.”

Accept people for how they are, don’t hold them to some high standard.

“Happiness is not the absence of problems, it’s the ability to deal with them.”

You will always have something going wrong in life. Learn to solve problems and move forward. It never gets easy, you get better at dealing with adversity.

“Not everything that can be counted counts. Not everything that counts can be counted”

Social media is the biggest offender of this. Likes, kudos, subscribers… They don’t matter. They are empty gestures, so treat them as such.

“Rules for happiness: something to do, someone to love, something to hope for.”

Happiness is a nebulous term. I prefer just being content. I add things to my calendar to look forward to, like races, vacations, and meetups with friends. I have a family to love and plenty to do with my job and coaching.

“If you want to know your past, look into your present conditions. If you want to know your future, look into your present actions.”

What you do today has a huge impact on your future. Stop creating problems for the future version of you. Being lazy or procrastinating now only hurts future YOU.

“Death doesn’t need to be treated as an enemy to be able to delight in life…I encourage people to make peace with death, to see it as a culminating adventure of this adventure of life. It is not an error, it is not a failure. It is taking off a tight shoe that you’ve worn well.”

Once we die, this whole charade and social construct will be over. Is that so bad? I don’t have a death wish, but I am not afraid of death itself, more of the slow dying part.

“If you keep on doing what you’ve always done, you will keep getting what you’ve always gotten.”

Nothing changes if you don’t change first, you need to do NEW things every year to increase novelty in life. Novelty is the spice of life.

I am a master of my emotions, if I feel depressed I will sing. If I feel sad I will laugh. If I feel ill I will double my labor. If I feel fear I will plunge ahead. If I feel uncertain I will raise my voice. If I feel poverty I will think of wealth to come. If I feel incompetent I will remember past success. Today I am a master of my emotions.

You can CHOOSE to be happy. Isn’t that crazy? Throw on a favorite song from your youth. You will quickly notice how your mood changes. Moods like thoughts can be treated like a passing storm. They are just thoughts, you don’t have to believe them.

“When you get rid of your fear of failure, your tensions about succeeding… you can be yourself. Relaxed. You’ll no longer be driving with your brakes on.”

To do well in racing you need to let go of your fixation on the outcome. No cherished outcomes!

“Perfect love casts out fear. Where there is love there are no demands, no expectations, no dependency. I do not demand that you make me happy; my happiness does not lie in you. If you were to leave me, I will not feel sorry for myself; I enjoy your company immensely, but I do not cling.” You can see a person as a sunset, for all to enjoy. Owned by no one.

I don’t demand anything from anyone in my life. Just be you, and I accept you as you are.

“My work isn’t done tonight. My work was done 3 months ago, and I just have to show up.”

On race day, all the work is done. Now it’s time to enjoy the fruit of your labor. Stop worrying, just let go, and enjoy the race.

“Learn to love slow progress. Learn to forgive yourself for the inevitable backsliding. And of course, expect to be uncomfortable along the way.”

Coaching has taught me this in spades. Progress to the things you want in life is painfully slow. Be patient.

When I prayed for his life it was an act of desperation fueled by the hope that the religion of my youth might yet save what was most precious to me. When he died, a victim of random cell mutation within his otherwise perfect body, I was left with the conviction that no god who would allow such a thing to happen was worthy of a moments more of my contemplation. I envy those who can retain their faith through such a loss and even imagine a purpose to it. I cannot. But still I hope for a reunion with the soul of my departed son, so what kind of Agnostic am I?

This is not a quote, but an excerpt from a book that had a profound impact. I can’t imagine his pain and suffering in losing a child. I feel as though there are still massive amounts of loss I’ve yet to experience. I am grateful for the time I have with those while I have it.

Humor is a form of sharing, an interpersonal exercise. To share laughter is a way of affirming that we are all in this lifeboat together. The sea surrounds us; rescue is uncertain; control is illusory. Still we sail on.

Don’t take life so seriously… Nobody gets out alive, so laugh, smile, and have fun while you are here.

Everyone is fighting a battle you know nothing about…

Just be kind to people that might be mean. They could be suffering in ways you couldn’t possibly imagine.

“As we have seen, whatever you do with your body, mind, or energy leaves a certain imprint. These imprints configure themselves into tendencies. These tendencies have been traditionally described in India by a wonderfully apt word: vasana. Literally, vasana means smell. This “smell” is generated by a vast accumulation of impressions caused by your physical, mental, emotional, and energy actions. Depending upon the type of smell you emit, you attract certain kinds of life situations to yourself.”

You know the “smell” of a person, it’s their mannerisms and what makes that person unique. It’s why I feel like some people repel, or attract you to them. It’s their smell! The people in your life should have a “good” smell.

You are your only obstacle. Every failure teaches a lesson. Watch your children learn by failure, and provide guidance.

You have to fail and lose to grow past your current level. There is no getting around that. If you meet someone great at what they do, odds are they have failed a 1000 different ways.

“The danger of an adventure is worth a thousand days of ease and comfort.”

One amazing adventure can keep me going for months. To me, that’s what running provides. A true sense of adventure away from the ease and comfort.

“The world is changed by your example, not by your opinion.”

Don’t be all talk and no action. Practice what you preach.

If I was them I’d be them.

It’s the idea that any person you meet is made up of the experiences they had. Don’t judge them, you would act exactly as they do if in their shoes.

Are you playing a game worth winning?

Will you look back at your years knowing you made the right choices? Was your time wasted? Love what you do, and do it well!

People won’t remember what you said, how you acted, or, even what you did. They will remember how you made them feel.

Your interactions in life might be the only thing left once you are gone. The memory of you survives in the people you interact with. People will remember what it was like to be around you vs what you did. Treat people kindly. That’s it.

Those are some of my top quotes; I continue to add to my list daily as I come across them. Please share your quotes in the comments below; I love hearing the ones that have affected people the most and WHY.

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Patrick Durante

Patrick is an ultrarunner and coach from Philadelphia who loves documenting his running career. His mission is to provide useful tips and tricks to assist others along their ultra journey. You can find his coaching services at https://ultraruncoach.com.

bouncingsoles.com/about-patrick-durante/

Blues Cruise has been a staple of my ultrarunning career. I’ve come back to this race 11 times now, and it’s a great way to end my season. For me, the story hasn’t changed much—except this year. This year, I was coming back with my second coached athlete, Chris. This is his story.

I took up coaching last year because I was looking for something new within the confines of the ultra world. Those who are able to teach a subject must know it well. While I am no expert, I am a certified UESCA coach, and have completed several ultras over the past 13 years. Chris came to me intrigued by the distance, and in passing, I mentioned that he could do it if he trained for it. I actually suggested to him that this would be an amazing misogi for him to take on. The idea around the misogi is you do something so hard one time a year that it has an impact the other 364 days of the year. You put one big thing on the calendar that scares you, that has a high chance of failure, and go out and do it. This idea was introduced to me, like it was to many people, from the book “Comfort Crisis.” My firm belief was that anyone could take on and complete a 50K. I knew he was athletic to some extent—an avid tennis player who did yoga once in a while—and he was committed enough to put in the training and succeed come race day. The issue was whether I could convince him of the same thing. The furthest he had ever run in training was a 10K, which he did in high school, and he had never run any farther than that.

Our first run together at the Wissahickon in Philly

Training progressed slowly at first; it was about getting consistent. Most of his runs were completed on a simple 3-mile loop across from his house. A cinder path, it was easy access and comfortable enough for him to complete a few laps and come home. As training progressed, I stressed the importance of race specificity. The race terrain is rocky at times but the vast majority runnable. From the start, he had a very high heart rate for his age, but this was just an indication that aerobic fitness takes time—sometimes years. Training was going to take time before running became “comfortable.”

From there, we moved on to runs at local trails near him, like the Wissahickon and other parks near Lansdale. Trail running was a complete departure from anything he had ever done before. Trail running develops all those tiny muscles in the ankles and feet as you run on surfaces that vary in many ways. Training runs have to match the elevation and terrain type for success on race day, which I stressed knew.

We met up twice for some longer runs, and during those, I conveyed the importance of controlling the variables you have control over: pace, nutrition, and hydration. Those three things are your dials to turn when things get difficult, and sometimes it’s unclear which dial to turn. But that’s what you learn in training. When do I slow down? How many calories per hour? How much fluid should I take in? These were all things that Chris executed on race day, but are specific to him. It’s one thing to practice them in training, but when it comes to the actual event, it can be difficult to execute, or you just forget as you get caught up in the excitement of the race.

In training, we made sure that he was running efficiently. I had him film himself on a treadmill and slow it down using video tools to ensure he maintained good form and body mechanics while running: high cadence, low bounce, standing tall, forward lean, high knees, etc. A new runner will experience growing pains; things hurt if you keep showing up, but it sends a message to the body that you must adapt because the movement is important. It took time, but he slowly built fitness, and his heart rate in training continued to drop, and his form improved.

Chris and I at the start of the race taking in the beauty of the lake

Race Day

I spoke with him after the event and one issue he had were his knees started bothering him after mile 20. He was feeling slight pain, but he pushed through it. He kept running and realized, “Wait, maybe this isn’t an issue.” He said to himself, “What other tricks will my body throw at me to stop?” In a post-race discussion, this showed me he understood the idea that ultras are a mental game. Yes, there’s a lot of physical effort, but at their core, ultras are a deep conversation with yourself and your perceived limits. Limits that were put there BY YOU. Once you shatter those limits, you start to have conversations about potential and where you might go versus where you think you are stuck.

He talked about time dilation in the race, and this is common for most once the pain really kicks in. Minutes seem like hours. The last 20% of an ultra feels just as long as the other 80%. Explaining that to someone can be hard, but when your body is in a constant state of trying to send you a message that you are just NOT listening to, it’s another way it rebels. You will hear people discuss the “flow” state that you need to try to achieve in running, but for those with underdeveloped aerobic systems, the flow state of an ultra doesn’t last as long when new to the sport. Intense pain tends to make staying in that flow state difficult, as its demand for constant attention never seems to waver.

Chris was very efficient at aid stations, spending only 20-30 seconds at most.

One thing I stressed with Chris was mindset, but it’s the hardest thing to train. While on runs with him, we discussed practices similar to meditation, where you bring focus back to the present moment instead of letting it travel ahead or narrowly focusing on just the finish. Focus on the breath, focus on your stride, focus on getting to the next landmark that’s close, or focus on getting to the next aid station. That was the main focus for Chris: to break the race into smaller, manageable chunks. You can’t focus on just the finish line or when the end is going to get here. If you do, there is a negative downward spiral of hope. Our minds are geared for little wins, constantly knowing that these mini battles will lead to a greater victory in the war. It’s almost like a way of affirming yourself constantly; with each win you get in the confines of a race, the end goal seems more attainable.

Your bar is raised by constant daily actions toward a goal you feel you can attain. His path looks nothing like mine, and Chris’s path will look nothing like yours. We each have a unique experience that brings us to the ultra distance. What’s great is to see someone else get their first win, their first victory. He completed his first half marathon in training, then his first marathon, then ultramarathon on race day. Not many people can say that, or take that much risk, but Chris did.

Shortly after his finish, a text from Chris.

My final advice for Chris was about Post-Race Depression

It’s normal that once a massive goal is completed, you lose focus. The reason for training becomes vague. What am I fighting for? Why do I need to get back in the gym? It’s normal; a massive goal has been completed, and now our minds want to shift focus toward the next big goal. For him, I recommended two paths going forward: 1) Jump right into a March 50K if he is over the pain of the first experience and wants to keep going, or 2) a trail marathon in April. These were two different choices for keeping forward momentum. It’s a lot harder to get a fire going than it is to keep it burning. So setting your target on that next race keeps the post-race depression at bay. Finally, I leave you with a favorite quote related to ultras that you will need to remind yourself of daily: