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Category: Road Race

Ultra Death

I shouldn’t be here. Years ago, while training for a triathlon, I was hit by a car on my bike. Initially I was okay, it wasn’t until a few days after the trauma I developed an infection near my heart. I was in the hospital for nine days, with additional treatment and monitoring for a month after I was released. That was 16 years ago. I was in my 20s, and that could have been it. End of story. No running, no family, no future. Sometimes I think, what if I had never left that hospital? How would the lives of family members changed, for better or worse?

Trail runners are a scrawny bunch

Consider the life you have lived until now as over, and, as a dead man, see what’s left as a bonus.

This is a powerful idea that you can use, to treat the life you’ve experienced until now as over. You are in the bonus level, additional time, and extra life like in a video game. How would you act differently with this mindset? You were never supposed to get to this point. It’s one of my favorite quotes:

“To win any battle, you must fight as if you are already dead.”

Not to be too morbid, but death is removed from society; it’s hidden, whereas it used to be a huge part of life. In past generations, death was an integral part of daily life. It occurred at home, and funerals were community events, allowing people to confront and discuss loss. Today, however, death often takes place in hospitals or care facilities, away from the public eye. Making death seem more abstract and distant.

Classic line from Clerks

Advances in medicine and healthcare have extended life expectancy, leading many to view death as something that happens in the distant future. This detachment can lead to a lack of appreciation for how short life is and the moments that make it meaningful. Its purpose is to shine light on what is important. That which is limited is desirable. We think of death as this far-off place, and that we all get to grow old. Growing old is a privilege.

There’s another quote I like about death:

“Death doesn’t need to be treated as an enemy to be able to delight in life…I encourage people to make peace with death, to see it as a culminating adventure of this adventure of life. It is not an error, it is not a failure. It is taking off a tight shoe that you’ve worn well.”

– Ram Dass

We wear different “shoes”, or personalities through life. I have chosen the role, of “Ultra Runner”. Death would be the end of that, no longer a charade to impress, or prove anything. There is no failure in death, or a DNF for that matter, and we should stop treating it as such. If you can conquer your fear of death, there’s a power, and a sense of freedom. You can laugh at the absurdity of what life or races throws at you. I think that’s what drives most health-conscious people; a fear of death. It is flipped for me. I try to cultivate more of a joy for life, and I wake each morning reminding myself of this quote:

“I greet every sunrise with cries of joy like a prisoner who is reprieved from death.”

This creates an intense appreciation for those in my life, what I have, and what I get to do. Every run is a gift, to see more vistas and sunrises while I am on the trail, feeling a sense of awe.

Do you even lift bro?

The more you make peace with death and the fear of it, the more it becomes a superpower. While I don’t have a death wish, I use it in running by having a conversation with myself constantly. This idea that I get to be a father, husband, coach. This creates a sense of gratitude for what I achieve. It shouldn’t take a near-death experience for you to do that. Those who brush up against it, who are around death constantly, are empowered by its sense of urgency. It emphasizes faster action, not wasting time.

I vividly remember the video series “Faces of Death” from high school.

I remember being warned how horrible it was, and the site 90’s website Rotten.com. It profiled a lot of the similar content like “Faces of Death”. Maybe death shouldn’t be hidden from children, or society? Locked away in a box that nobody talks about, except those who care for the elderly, or sick. Death should be in and around your life to maximize priorities and relationships. Don’t worry, I’m not about to start showing my kids faces of death, my oldest is 12 and not allowed to watch PG13 😁movies.

Unfortunately death is the one thing us ultra runners can’t outrun. “Memento mori”. I invite you to remember death the next time your feeling low, be it in a race, or in life. You are in the bonus round, you are not dead yet!

I do not fear death. I was dead for billions and billions of years before I was born, and had not suffered the slightest inconvenience from it.

Thanks for reading, if you enjoy this post you may also enjoy what I believe happens when a runner dies. Let me know your thoughts on death in the comments below!

I had also created a little AI trailer for this blog post for fun. Creepy, right?

AI is fun! What will you create?

Feet Over Finish – My New Mantra

My new mantra comes from the “Diary of a CEO” podcast. The story, adapted for ultrarunning below, is simple yet profound. I plan to use this concept in my races this year, hoping for a successful season. I’m sharing the relevant transcript because of its powerful application to ultrarunning.

Diary of a CEO – For those of you who might not be familiar, Sir David Brailsford is the mastermind behind British cycling’s transformation from mediocrity to global dominance. He was now leading performance at Manchester United under the new INEOS ownership.

Many years ago, when Sir David took over as performance director of British cycling, they hadn’t won an Olympic gold medal in nearly a century. Under his leadership, they didn’t just win, they dominated, securing multiple gold medals and Tour De France victories, but what struck me most when I first met Sir David wasn’t his impressive list of victories.

It was his intense focus on mindset and psychology, which I’m now convinced is what made those victories possible.

When our cyclist became fixated on the podium, on the medals, the glory. Their performance suffers.

It’s a subtle shift, but it’s profound. The podium exists in the future, a place beyond our immediate control. The more they obsess over standing on that podium and winning that medal, the less attention may pay to the one thing that actually matters, the present moment, the rotation of the pedals beneath them.

So we changed our approach. We told them to forget about the podium. Instead, focus entirely on the pedals, each rotation.

Each breath.

Each muscle contraction. This is where success is truly forged.

The simplicity of focusing on the immediate. The tangible. The now. It was a lesson that transcends cycling. One that can be applied to any endeavor pursued by any of us in any of our lives.

Studies on mindfulness, a practice rooted in staying present, show that those who Focus on the now rather than an uncertain future experience less anxiety, greater Focus and improved performance across a variety of different tasks.

Studies prove when we become preoccupied with potential outcomes, like whether we’ll win a race or if our company is going to die, the brain’s default mode network, DMN, becomes highly active.

This network, which is involved in self-referential thinking, which is basically thinking about yourself too much, can lead to overthinking and heightened stress, which puts you off performing at your best.

But, conversely, when we anchor our attention in the present moment, regions of the brain associated with focus and task execution, such as the prefrontal cortex, become more engaged, which enhances our ability to perform at our best. Sir David’s approach teaches us a fundamental truth. Ironically, when we focus too much on the outcome, we end up sabotaging the very actions needed to achieve it.

We become distracted or paralyzed by the weight of our expectations, but by narrowing our focus to the here and now, by mastering each stroke, each moment, we align our actions with our intentions, setting the stage for success.

So whether you’re an athlete peddling toward the finish line or an entrepreneur navigating the turbulent waters of business, an artist crafting your next masterpiece, or simply someone striving to find balance in life’s complexities, remember, Focus on the pedals, not the podium. Success isn’t a destination, it’s a journey comprised of countless moments where we choose to be fully present.

The podium, the accolades, the achievements, the milestones, are merely the byproduct of our commitment to mastering each moment, each rotation of the pedals. I always tell people, you wouldn’t plant a seed and then dig it up every few minutes to see if it had grown. So why do you keep questioning yourself, your hard work and your decisions? Have patience. Keep watering your seeds.

And miles to go before we sleep…

This is a core principle of success: the ability to disregard the distraction of the finish line and its reward, and instead focus on the single task at hand. Our brains are story-driven machines that need to know the suffering we endure is worth the effort. So, they create a narrative fixated on the finish. Repeating the mantra “Feet over Finish” breaks that cycle. It removes the distraction of the finish line, interrupts the brain’s looping thoughts, and pulls you out of default mode.

To succeed, focus on the singular moment, the single stride. The next time you struggle during a race, focus on your breath, perhaps using a breathing pattern. This should bring you back to the present. If it doesn’t, repeat “Feet over Finish.”

In your next race, use “Feet over Finish” to refocus. Stop complaining; focus solely on your feet. It’s all you can control: your feet moving, your arms swinging, your hands taking in fuel. Ultras may seem complicated with all their variables, but successful runners excel at focusing their attention where it matters most – on what’s important now , not on winning or reaching the finish line. Ironically, by intensely focusing on each moment, you eventually achieve both. That’s it! It’s surprisingly simple. You don’t need 100 mile weeks filled with 20,000 vert climbing! ☺️ Just kidding, put in the work too before you get there! Words won’t do it alone, but they will help more than you think.

This dude is about to drop from the race…

Thanks for reading! What’s your mantra? Let me know in the comments below!