I am… an ultrarunner?

On a podcast, they talked about a simple meditation of asking yourself the question “I am?”. I had so many answers for who “I am”. It’s an interesting exercise to do on your next run.  Just say the phrase silently to yourself.  You will come up with many answers to the same question.  I am – “fast”.  I am – “running”.  I am – “here now”.  I am a husband, son, father, nerd. You get the idea. It didn’t stop, but lots of them were from different periods of my life.  Some goofy, like.  I am, “jumping over this rock”.  Some were about the present, future, or past.  It was a simple meditation to bring awareness to how you see yourself in this world, your life, and your mind.  It highlighted this image of WHO I thought I was.  

I’ve known that mental dialogue is critical to success in what we do, and what we think we are capable of.  My kids say, “I am” about a lot of things. “I am not able to open this”, or “I am not able to figure this out”, or whatever needs to be done. I always hear them say the words before or after the moment of failure.

As I kept asking myself “I AM”, this image of me standing in front of a classroom full of children appeared. I would ask the kids, there would be a pause, and then one of the children would blurt out, “Oh, I know, I know.”  “I am strong”, “I am funny”, or “I am grateful”.  This went on until I ran out of answers.  I was then blank, and left with just “I am.”  That left me with the idea that I am just a body, a person having a human experience on earth and nothing more.  I am here, now, moving through time and space.  I picked up “The Miracle of Mindfulness”, and the memorable story he tells is about washing the dishes.

“While washing the dishes one should only be washing the dishes, which means that while washing the dishes one should be completely aware of the fact that one is washing the dishes.”

… “The fact that I am standing there and washing these bowls is a wondrous reality. I’m being completely myself, following my breath, conscious of my presence, and conscious of my thoughts and actions. There’s no way I can be tossed around mindlessly like a bottle slapped here and there on the waves.”

Not washing the dishes to get to the cup of tea or TV show you will watch when done.  You are fully aware of what you do right now at this current moment because its a critical mindset to carry us through life.  

As our lives get hectic, or distracted by technology.  The point we sometimes forget is that we are alive, and present in what we do, day in and day out.  Enjoying family, enjoying a workout, enjoying a race.  The older you get the faster it goes.

“Without noticing we’re doing it, we treat the future as intrinsically more valuable than the present. And yet the future never seems to arrive.”

You think retirement, vacations, weekends, or what’s next will be better than your current situation, but it won’t. If you can’t enjoy the current moment you’re in, those future items won’t bring peace.  I stay present when I run.  I listen to my surroundings and find new sights on things I’ve done a thousand times.  You would be surprised how much you might be missing out on if you’re staring at your phone, or listening to music.  Our minds were meant to rest, and not always have a podcast or music blasting in our ears. After two hours of this “I am”, I did eventually put my podcast back on. See what I did there, this all started because I heard it on a podcast. I was seeing if you were paying attention 😉 Are you crazy? Who can run for 4 hours and NOT listen to some music?!?! I’m just kidding, but have some boredom and downtime once in and while. You might receive a message the world is trying to tell you.  Get out there, get moving, and start answering the questions for yourself, “I am <insert answer here>”. Let me know what you discover in the comments below.

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