What keeps a running career going? There are two key elements: motivation and validation. Successful runners will have both. There’s showing up, but getting recognized for your performance is key. How do you motivate yourself? Is it internal or external? Initially, your motivation comes from external sources. Maybe you want to lose weight or improve your appearance. But what keeps you lacing up your shoes once you reach your goal?
Racing provides both external motivation and validation. Races pressure you to perform at a high level, a commitment to train for an event. They provide a sense of validation when you perform well, and hit PRs for new distances or times. External validation like social media is a double-edged sword. While it can be inspiring, did you ever ask yourself, how much would I train if nobody was watching?
I started running in my 20s in college. There was a lot of external validation. I was comparing myself to others with how I placed in races. It was outward-facing, and not as internal. You see this in youth sports. They give participation awards or candy for showing up, it’s immediate feedback. My daughter would get a lollipop after soccer or swim practice. It’s external; I can’t expect internal motivation at the age of 5. Adults are the same way, some run just to eat donuts and not feel guilty.
The rewards from running take time to cultivate before a sense of internal accomplishment exists. External rewards come easily and are plentiful, but not very nutrient-dense like a donut. If you continue to rely on them, they put your motivation in the control of others. The worst aspect of using social media for validation is you are now dependent on who sees your post. There’s no end to how much external validation you will consume. Like empty calories of the donuts “likes”, “kudos”, or “views” will never give you a sense of contentment. Why don’t my runs get validation? It’s out of your control. Running starts with external validation but shifts to an internal sense of reward. This is not an easy task. The dopamine from external validation feels good, but it’s a trap. You will always crave more.
Ultras provide external motivators similar to the lollipop. You get a belt buckle or finisher medal. The trap is when that’s the only reason you race. Another checkbox to fill, another notch on my belt. It’s one of the traps of racing, where you only fixate on the reward vs the journey. Focused on the finish vs that next aid station. When pain is great, “finish fixation” is all you think about. When is my suffering going to end? Too distracted with the lollipop vs. enjoying the privilege to race. The trick is to bring it back to the present, back to the task at hand.
Where do you put your confidence? In what you do, or telling others what you do? Put it on yourself. Learn to feel the confidence in performing the act in and of itself. It’s not about social media. Keep it for yourself. If that’s what you need to get you out the door, there is nothing wrong with that. Just don’t let that take precedence over the internal. The external is the lollipop; the internal pulls you forward at mile 75 when everything hurts, and you want to drop out of the race.
The ultimate mental endurance event would be to register and complete a 100-mile race and tell nobody! Similar to a tree falling in the forest, if a runner runs in the woods, does it happen if he doesn’t post it on Strava? 🤣 Would you still run if nobody knew? If nobody was at the finish line? Would you do these events if you removed the social media aspect? Some say yes, others say no. Again, showing others you can do hard things is not bad. You never know who you are inspiring. Parenting involves setting an example for your children who are ALWAYS watching and listening. Are “followers” or “subscribers” then your children? 😁😁
Don’t compare your beginning to someone else’s middle.
Find that internal inspiration. Do something you have never done before. It doesn’t matter what others think, don’t worry about how it looks to others. Take two weeks of not posting any run on social media, or even taking your watch on a run. Leave the metrics at home and run by feel, run with no attachments, no expectations. Sadness is caused when reality doesn’t align with our expectations.
To develop your skills and talents in life you need motivation and validation. If it’s to post on social media, then keep doing it. Motivation is motivation, no matter what form it comes in, but self-motivation burns brighter than the external motivation of how others perceive you. It’s OK to have both, but don’t let one take precedence over the other. You don’t need validation for anything you do, because everyone is their own worst critic. Run as a form of service to yourself. Do it for the memories, the adventure, and the friendships. Don’t do it for the likes. Do it as an act of kindness to your future self, because you’re the only one who benefits. This is about a love of self, vs love of how you are seen. Nobody is thinking about you, nobody cares!
Final thought: It’s almost like humans were wired with a need for validation in our actions. Is it a feature or a bug? What do you think? Let me know in the comments below.
The devil looks like he’s a distance runner… 😱😱
Patrick is an ultrarunner and coach from Philadelphia who loves documenting his running career. His mission is to provide useful tips and tricks to assist others along their ultra journey. You can find his coaching services at https://ultraruncoach.com.
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