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Category: mental toughness

Ultra Brain

Science has backed up what I have known about ultras:


Anterior midcingulate cortex (AMCC). Often referred to as the “willpower muscle,” its size and activity are driven by neurobiology rather than just a personality trait. The AMCC grows ONLY when you engage in tasks that are challenging. For instance, if someone loves cold water, an ice bath won’t change their AMCC, but if they hate the cold and force themselves to do it anyway, the area grows. This brain region is significantly larger in “super agers,” individuals who maintain high cognitive capacity and physical health well into their 80s and 90s. The AMCC shrinks or atrophies in individuals who live sedentary lives or consistently avoid challenges. The AMCC is the “seat of the will to live,” as its size and activity level are strong predictors of how well a person survives a major health setback or surgery. Doing “hard things,” such as pushing through difficult physical workouts or neural-activating drills, tells the brain it can overcome any obstacle, building a reserve for when life gets hard.

Failing to do hard things can lead to a breakdown of connectors and receptors in the brain, creating a cycle where the AMCC doesn’t grow, making it increasingly difficult to meet goals or resist sedentary behaviors. This discovery is critical because it moves the concept of willpower away from a moral failing and into the realm of trainable hardware in the brain.

This is something I have known for a while, but I love seeing that science now backs it up. After I completed my first difficult race I signed up for, it gave me a new perspective, the things I didn’t sign up for got easier. I used it as my measuring stick by which I determined if something was difficult. 5Ks became easy, similar to the 5lb weight that becomes easy to lift. That muscle became strong and able to lift greater and greater challenges. So I had to reach for the bigger goal, the bigger hurdle to overcome; the 5K became the 10K, the half marathon, and the rest is history. I used to think it was an addiction to running, but it’s more an addiction to growing these connections stronger to take on greater challenges. Seeking out these challenges year after year was a necessary part of growth.

Your hard looks different from mine, and that’s the beauty of this discovery. We all start off with a small, underdeveloped AMCC. With my kids, I can see how hard it is for them to take on new challenges, but we sign them up for sports. Sports force a hard on you that you don’t choose. You learn to win, lose, or play the game and be better than your previous version of you. There is a sense of danger. You may get hurt if you put yourself in the game, a real game, not a video game (as we are doing a lot now in the winter months). There has to be something that is on the line. You need to have the ability to get hurt, accountability to teammates, going off course in a race, just some type of failure. There needs to be that 50/50 chance of success, because you can’t trick your brain. It knows if nothing is at stake: “Nothing ventured, nothing gained.”

This is the best understanding of the “WHY” for ultras. People think you’re insane when you tell them you can’t wait to run 100 miles in the woods, trying to find your limit. That limit is where the AMCC grows, as someone who has been doing this a long time. I can go back in my mind and remember those past events and feel the pain of the big races. I can look back at them, see the medal or buckle on the shelf, and actually feel how much I grew from a single event, YEARS after it has passed. I remember how tired I was, how hard it was to gain those wins. I know the exact points in races where I had to dig deep and where those synapses in my brain fired to get me a finish. It wasn’t for the buckle, medal, or right to say I completed it. It was for the urge to drive the growth, to be better than my previous best, and that’s it. That’s what drives me year after year, and why I’m excited to plan my adventures every year. Where will they take me? How hard will I push? Will I get in all the training needed to complete the challenges? What type of person will I become when the year is done and I look back?

Find what you’re afraid of most and GO LIVE THERE. That quote is so true because that’s the part of your brain that is scared and needs the inoculation to fear. If you do, you grow, you get stronger, and that fear fades, leaving less places for fear to hide. If you need to convince your significant other to let you sign up for a 50K or 100K, you can forward them this post as to WHY. You become stronger IF you complete it, and even if you don’t, you still grow because you put yourself out there. You can promise them that IF you succeed, you will be stronger mentally AND physically, able to take more of the burden of any problem that gets thrown your way.

Keep Coming Back – Blues Cruise 50K Race Report

If your race didn’t go as expected, that’s OK; it doesn’t matter much. Whether you DNF’d, PR’d, finished DFL, or just got it done, in the end, they’re all just outcomes—they’re not who you are. 12 years of Blues Cruise, and I can tell you with certainty, that while each race plays out slightly different, they all had one underlying theme.  That’s what I plan to cover in this post.

I charted my performances over time… My best performances were shared with others.

This photo shows data points of each year.  That’s what all races are. They are just data points toward the person you want to become. Snapshots of a single day in your life.  Neither good, nor bad, it’s what life allowed for you on that day. Training, weather, mental preparedness, etc, course conditions, are never the same. If I showed you a picture of yourself year after year, it wouldn’t tell the full story of your life, let alone your training. Well, I am slowing down, that’s obvious.  What isn’t shown is everything going on in a person’s life, or how they coped with the stress on race day. Each runner’s experience—and their finish time—is shaped by countless factors: genetics, training, heat acclimation, nutrition, and so many more.

The biggest change I’ve seen in myself over the years is that today, I’ve stopped comparing myself to others—and especially to my past self. Yes, I know I graphed my times, but it was to prove a point. The numbers never tell a full story, like one of my favorite quotes:

“No person ever steps in the same river twice, for it’s not the same river and they’re not the same person.”

Every year I come back things are so different from the previous year, I can never compare with a past performance. I may think I have control over how the race plays out, but more often than not it feels as though I am at a slot machine each year. Pulling the handle to see what the day brings. I care less about the clock, and more about how the training felt. Was I eager to get out of bed? Did I enjoy the process? Because if that starts to become an issue I will never even make it to the starting line the following year. The race is always the dessert, when it comes to running.  It’s that bonus you GET if you built your fitness AND remained injury free to toe the line. From experience, trying to have a perfect execution on “that” day is a tough, if not near impossible for most unless you have no other commitments. As I age, I care more about just getting to the start vs if I “win”. Winning in ultras is being able to do them, as long as you can, as often as your life allows.

Enjoying the process. Weekly vert over 5K for multiple weeks with Alex and Nick

In the graph above, my best races were always shared with others. I wrote about race day where I ran with 3 very fast females. I wrote about “Damn the Torpedoes” where I met my first athlete Zach I coached. When you get lost in conversation and focus on something other than yourself, you can transcend time, and surprisingly do your best. I had breakout performances where I shared more miles with people vs alone, I was focused on others vs self rumination.

Damn the Torpedoes with Zach (BC 2022)

The weather wasn’t on my side for a perfect execution this year, and that was OK.  What I was thrilled about was putting everything on the line. I went out hard, and enjoyed every moment. The old me cared about time, the new me cares about process and giving each race everything you can.   The races are a point in time on a given day, and truly anything can and DOES happen. You need to take risk, and be OK with failure to see what you are capable of. Like a magical wizard trying to cast a spell, where the incantation has to be perfect to summon the beast. If one word, or ingredient is off, you summon an abomination of a race filled with pain, cramping, blisters, and suffering. Even with all the training, nutrition, and gear, you can still have things fall apart. That’s what coming back each year has taught me, that things go sideways, reality doesn’t always meet expectation, and you need to adjust.

Race day friends – 3 Fast Ladies Race (BC 2019)

So take your data point and move on, evaluate what happened BUT come back next year! That’s what is critical, its not a representation of you, but a snapshot in time where maybe some years the stars aligned. Some runners get it 100% right 100% of the time.  Good for them! I keep signing up because its the process that keeps me motivated, happy, and a better person.  A patient father, and better husband.  Excellence is the ability to endure hardships. Ultras teach you that life isn’t fair, this is hard, and that nobody is coming to save you—except YOU! Well maybe that bean burrito at AS4 was your savior?? 😆

I carried 2 bottles and a bladder?!? WTF? (BC 2015)

While Blues Cruise was my race I came back to each year, it could have been any event. Fall in love with some activity, some race, and just keep doing it. Try to master something silly, as that’s what most people think of ultras. That’s what I love. I’ll NEVER master this race, or anything in the short time I’m here.  I’ll never master ultras, but it doesn’t stop me from trying. I have no choice!

“My dear, Find what you love and let it kill you. Let it drain you of your all. Let it cling onto your back and weigh you down into eventual nothingness. Let it kill you and let it devour your remains. For all things will kill you, both slowly and fastly, but it’s much better to be killed by a lover”

“Beating the clock” – AI Generated of 2025 BC finish

Thanks for reading! This isn’t your typical race report; it’s more of a reflection on why I came back the twelve times. I hope you enjoyed it.